This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
