i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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