I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
