This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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