Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
