I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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