So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
