Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
