so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
