if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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