Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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