I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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