omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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