You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
