You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
