im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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