it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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