Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
