Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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