Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
do nipples grow back?
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