So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
