ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
