respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
