I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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