Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
