what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
