Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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