new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize