I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
