Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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