i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
