found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
