Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
