I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
