The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
