Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
