1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize