Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
