Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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