There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
