It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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