I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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