I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize