Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
