A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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