she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
