Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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