What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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