oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
