Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize