Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize