Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
