i think i have herpe
just one?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize