She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize