i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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