Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
A bitchslap is in order.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
