my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
