my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
