Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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