i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
